Sure, you’re going to have to see the doctor after this one no matter how it goes, but here’s our take.

F*ck: Nuclear

Well to be frank, in the short term we totally need it. It feels really good to have such an efficient way to make energy, its a scientific work of art. However, we know in the long term, if we stick with it, it will affect our health, spend all our money and probably lead us to an early grave. That said, for a short time, it’s totally worth it, no regrets!

Marry: Solar

It’s stable, reliable, long term, and it really loves us. We know this because it wakes up every day with the sun to make our lives better. Sure, like any long term relationship it will take some work and isn’t perfect yet, but in time this one will lead to long term happiness… which isn’t that what matters? We say “I do”.

Kill: Gas

No question Gas got us where we are today, but it was a decision we made when we were A LOT younger. Now Gas is showing up uninvited, causing serious societal issues, forcing us to hang out with the worst people, and frankly it smells bad. When we were young we didn’t care about optics, smell, or comfort. We just cared about speed, fun, and making tons of noise. We were'n’t sure we’d see 30, so we lived fast and loose. We’ve asked it to calm down and grow up with us, but it refuses. The only way to be rid of this one is good old fashion murder. We’ll be better off for the tough decision. We can see it once a year for things like an air show, but we really need to move on and bury gas where it came from.